Blues Season Review Part 3

Birmingham City fans are usually quick to point out that supporting their club involves more than a few embarrassing moments.

There have been three particularly fine examples this season:

1. The Big Screen

Fans were told that St Andrew’s was to have a big screen as part of some general redevelopments to the ground.

Fresh from Henman Hill at Wimbledon, this slightly used piece of kit was to be installed in time for the 100th anniversary of the opening of St Andrew’s which fell on Boxing Day 2006.

Boxing Day came and went; the assembled thousands looked in vain for the big screen but it was nowhere to be seen.

Despite jokes of the Board forgetting to buy the remote, the club were tight-lipped as to the whereabouts of the screen.

It appeared that planning permission was needed and the small matter of moving one of the floodlight masts had been completely overlooked.

Cue general shuffling of feet and a loud silence from the general direction of St Andrew’s.

As for the screen, it is still conspicuous by its absence. Bets are currently being taken as to whether it will appear in time for the start of next season.

2. Diarygate

What a humiliation this was! A standard print run of club diaries suffered a printing error of the worst kind when Aston Villa’s club honours were substituted for Birmingham’s altogether briefer list.

Needless to say, the mistake was soon spotted and gleefully reported on by local and national sporting press, to the squirming embarrassment of fans and club alike.

Everyone is still trying to live that one down…

3. The Great Pitch Disaster

To complete the threesome of squirmworthy occurrences this season, an attempt to relay an terminally-ill pitch in seven days proved to be an unmitigated disaster.

Following the 2-2 draw with Newcastle in the FA Cup, the plan was to relay the pitch in a week to be ready for the visit of Leeds United.

The old pitch surface was stripped away and the diggers moved in. So did a low front and the Heavens opened over Birmingham, dumping a month’s rain on the Small Heath area in just 24 hours.

Relaying the pitch became an impossibility and news footage showed a vast expanse of mud and very little grass.

The game was duly postponed and Birmingham City became the first club to hold the dubbious honour of failing to fulfil a fixture due to lack of a pitch.

By this time, the ‘it always happens in threes’ aspect of Sod’s Law had been fulfilled and the season passed off without further catastrophe.